America Takes Back the Title!
Posted by Voltairrible on July 10, 2008
WOOHOO! WE FINALLY DID IT! WE SHOWED THOSE COMMIE BASTARDS! FUCK YOU, HOPSING! FUCK YOU, YAO MING! FUCK YOU, CONNIE CHUNG! (I ran out of people I knew that rhymed with “ing”).
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. We finally took back the World Pollution Title from those overpopulated assholes across the Pacific. Our own President G.W. Bush made the announcement at the G8 meeting in Japan (who, btw, we nuked… twice. FUCK YEAH!).
The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”
He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.
Hell yeah. A fist pump to boot? I bet those other world leaders shit their pants when he did that. I mean, it’s one thing to achieve #1 status. But flaunting it right in front of their faces? That’s fucking grade-A American awesome right there. President G.W. Bush is basically the Mohammad Ali of pollution, with China being that guy who makes the grills now.
Up next, we’re going for the World Landmine Title, so look out Chechnya.