Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Explaining My Three-Day Erection

Posted by Mac10 on July 10, 2008

Get ready for my first post about one of my favorite sports teams. I’m like Bill Simmons, only more of a homer. Just a heads up, if you don’t like or don’t care about Cubs baseball, Jazz basketball, Bucs football, all Vanderbilt teams, UNC, Gonzaga, and Stanford basketball, FSU and Arkansas football, then you probably won’t like my sports blogs. And you’re probably a faggot. And yes, I know I root for a weird group of teams, but there is an explanation for all the teams. Including the always popular reason: I jumped on the bandwagon.

ANYWAY, back to the matter at hand: my three-day erection. Ever since I heard about the Cubs trading for Rich Harden, I have been walking around with my 3-inch boner held high. Of course, it has been a little awkward around the office, but I am not going to hide my first erection since Game 6 of the NLCS. In the deal, the Cubs got one of the best pitchers in the league for 4 players that will never be All-Stars. The big question, of course, is whether Harden can stay healthy. Sure, I have nightmares at night where Harden takes off a mask and reveals himself to be Mark Prior and then rapes my grandmother. But who doesn’t? This is a deal that the Cubs had to make if they want to win it all. Zambrano-Dempster-Lilly will get you to the playoffs, but that’s not a top 3 that can dominate in October. With Harden on board, though, my penis and I are confident the Cubs have enough to finally make it back to the World Series.


(A whole post about erections and Rich Harden, and I didn’t make one Hardening my penis joke. I’m so proud of myself.)


One Response to “Explaining My Three-Day Erection”

  1. AP said

    First thing is first: Fuck UNC, Gonzaga, Stanford, FSU, and Arkansas.

    Secondly, I’m waiting on Rich Harden’s arm falling off sometime soon. I hear the over-under on that is 3 games (taking the under).

    And what the fuck happened to your previously boner-inducing love of Matt Murton, the one you dubbed “THE GREATEST GINGER IN ALL OF SPORTS!”? Seriously… you fucking fairweather fan.

    EDIT: More like Rich Hard-on! See what I did there?

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