If you drink Diet Coke, you are a terrorist
Posted by Voltairrible on July 10, 2008
I’m not even fucking kidding on how much I hate Diet Coke. Honestly, why the fuck would you drink something laden with sugar and caffine if you were going to get the “diet” style. That’s about as asinine as getting a hooker but telling her you just want a handjob. Not only is it proven that only teenage girls and fags like Diet Coke (don’t even get me started on Coke Zero), it has now come to light that Diet Coke is, in fact, anti-American.
In this story from the British rag The Daily Mail, it turns out the leader of Al-Queda in Europe drinks that Communist propoganda sugar water bullshit.
Despite being under virtual house arrest, the cleric appeared relaxed as he walked to nearby shops occasionally stroking his bushy, greying beard.
At one stage, he shared a joke with a woman about his brown prayer beads, laughing and then beaming after her comments.
Later, they were replaced in his right hand by a six-pack of Diet Coke bottles while under his left arm he clutched a bumper-pack of toilet rolls.
There you have it. Not only are those British pansies letting him walk around after being convicted of blowing up innocent Brits and their horrendous teeth, they’re paying him. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The man is arguably the most dangerous man in England, and you’re fucking paying him? And what, pray tell, is he spending his money on? Diet Coke.
Basically, what I’m saying is: If you drink Diet Coke, fuck you.