Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Nebraskan Thinks Big 12 Is Better Than SEC, Rides Shortbus

Posted by Voltairrible on July 15, 2008

No teams in the SEC fought with the Union in the War of Northern Agression

Selected this photo because Googleing "retarded Nebraskan" turned up too many results.

Wow.  That is all I can really say about this article in the Nebraska “State Paper” (creative name, right?) by austistic savant writer and part-time corn molester Samuel McKewon.

To be fair, I agree with his point that only a few conferences can truly even enter the argument for being the best conference in Division IA NCAA Football.  However, his inclusion of the ACC into the ranks should have been the first clue to stop reading his article.

The SEC is, without a doubt, the most dominant conference in the NCAA.  Now, I’m not saying that other conferences aren’t competitive or that they lack great teams.  I know full well that there are teams out there that can challenge the top three SEC schools in a knock-down-drag-out brawl.  But, the fact of the matter is this:  no other conference is as stacked as the South Eastern Conference.

Somehow, McKewon completely disregards this fact while doing his match-ups.  He does note that Vanderbilt University is the “weak link” in the SEC, and let me say this: that is bullshit.  Last time I checked, Vanderbilt knocked off then #6 South Carolina (yet another SEC team in the top 10 rankings that week) by a score of 17 – 6 IN COLUMBIA.  And, they only lost to Tennessee by a 1 point margin that should have never happened in the first place (Coach Bobby Johnson had a sizable lead and played “not to lose” as opposed to “for the win”).

Now, to quote the match-ups provided by McKewon:

Oklahoma/Georgia

Missouri/Florida

Texas Tech/LSU

Kansas/Alabama

Texas/Tennessee

Oklahoma State/Auburn

Nebraska/Mississippi State

Texas A&M/Arkansas

Colorado/South Carolina

Kansas State/Kentucky

Iowa State/Ole Miss

Baylor/Vanderbilt

Can I have some of what he’s smoking?  Honestly.  If anything, his standings are all screwed up on the SEC side.  But, I digress.  While the top two or three games would be quite interesting, there is no way that the Big 12 could pull off a majority of wins to defeat the SEC in a conference on conference smack-down.  The reason that the teams in the bottom half of the SEC bracket, so to speak, have such lousy records is because, HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES, they play powerhouse teams almost every week.

Mind-fucking-blowing.  If anyone who knows anything about football agrees that the Big 12, of all people, is capable of shutting down the powerhouse that is the South Eastern Conference, please politely go become an hero.  I might have accepted some other conferences making a chance at it, but his article is just ignorant.  And like leprosy, asbestos, and minorities, it is best to shun ignorance.

I respect Mr. McKewon’s right to be from a shitty state the prides itself on a phallus-shaped vegetable, as well as his right to have an ill-informed opinion no matter how fucked up and unsubstantiated it is.

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One Response to “Nebraskan Thinks Big 12 Is Better Than SEC, Rides Shortbus”

  1. Mac10 said

    “part time corn molestor” might be the funniest thing on this blog so far

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