Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Scientists Fondle HIV/AIDS, Claim “No Homo”

Posted by Voltairrible on July 17, 2008

Freddy Mercury says, "What what in the butt?"

Freddy Mercury says, "What what in the butt?"

Pathologists (people who study and diagnose diseases, a la Pam Anderson’s snooch) at the University of Texas Medical School at Houston think they’ve finally figured out how to attack HIV, which leads to AIDS.

AIDS, which stands for “Anally Injected Death Syndrome”, has killed millions of homosexuals sinners Democrats people since 1981. AIDS is usually acquired through the HIV virus.

The virus kills by mutating frequently and overwhelming the antibodies produced by the human body. This leads to, well… getting really sick and dying because your body’s immune system is shot.

Currently, only expensive prescription drugs have been able to prolong the life of those with HIV/AIDS (except in the case of Magic Johnson, who cured it with an injection of $180,000).

However, the research from UT Houston has pinpointed “a tiny stretch of amino acids numbered 421-433 on gp120”, which I guess means something medical.

Sudhir Paul, Ph.D., pathology professor in the UT Medical School, said, “Unlike the changeable regions of its envelope, HIV needs at least one region that must remain constant to attach to cells. If this region changes, HIV cannot infect cells. Equally important, HIV does not want this constant region to provoke the body’s defense system. So, HIV uses the same constant cellular attachment site to silence B lymphocytes – the antibody producing cells. The result is that the body is fooled into making abundant antibodies to the changeable regions of HIV but not to its cellular attachment site. Immunologists call such regions superantigens. HIV’s cleverness is unmatched. No other virus uses this trick to evade the body’s defenses.”

Translation: I think he said that they are attacking the part of the virus that is (1) constant and (2) the reason it is deadly. That really would’ve been my first place to start, but I’m not a doctor…

Then again, I always thought it was easier being straight and wearing my jimmy hat when I’m with a fine lady. But, for those of you who don’t do that, ummm… This post is for you!

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