Sans Morality

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Analog Dinosaur

Posted by Voltairrible on July 22, 2008

Analog Dinosaur is afraid of your knowledge

Analog Dinosaur is afraid of your knowledge

For anyone that doesn’t know (and why would you?), Dr. Funke, Mac10, and myself are all college students at the moment.  Yes, we all go to the same school.  And, yes, it’s better than the one you go to.

Currently, I’m the only one unfortunate enough to be taking summer classes, since I don’t have an internship and karma pretty much hates me.

Anyway, I’m in the second session right now, but I took an information management type course earlier this summer.  It was pretty easy, because I’m super internet savvy (90% of the class dealt with TEH INTRAWEBS!).  However, there was one guy in there that I wanted to stab in the back of the head from Day 1, and I eventually named him “Analog Dinosaur.”  He was a middle aged guy, probably slightly older than my dad, and he honestly had no fucking clue what was going on.  At all.  He eventually ended up dropping the course about two weeks into it, but not before I managed to catalogue all the stupid shit he said during class.  Here’s the list:

  • Asked for the origin and definition of the term “end user”
  • Requested the professor detail the difference between the World Wide Web and the Internet for a second time, roughly 5 minutes after we had moved on from the first 30 second explanation
  • Uttered a bedazzled “WOW!” during the first seven seconds of the explanation of the binary system; “Binary is a system of zeroes and ones” blew his fucking mind
  • In the middle of class, pointed out (for no reason at all) that transistors are the reason we were able to land on the moon
  • Pleased with himself that he remembered that 8-bit memory means 256 (2^8), roughly 3 seconds after the professor explained this
  • Noted that, due to physics, our local power company is SELLING US THE SAME ATOMS! OH  NOES!
  • Asked if “thumb drives” dealt with art, because small pictures are called “thumbnails”
  • When the professor remarked that computers may one day surpass the complexity of the human brain, Analog Dinosaur remarked that “mankind probably won’t be around when that happens”
  • Asked what a “stylus” is (yes, as in the little PDA pointer stick)
  • On the topic of security devices, his reaction was basically RETINAL SCANNING = HOLY SHIT
  • When asked what was wrong on a particular powerpoint slide being used, he replied that the pictures were not “balanced”, a la his document design class
  • Asked if it would be good to study the book, the study guides, the chapter summaries, powerpoints, examples, and handouts — EVERYTHING WE’D EVER DONE– to study for the exam

I’m actually proud I didn’t maim him.  Did I mention he was creepy as shit, too?


One Response to “Analog Dinosaur”

  1. DrFunke said

    Now you’re promoting organ theft? Real fine reputation you’re building for yourself Wudgles. First human trafficking and pedophilia, now this.

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