Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Terrific Tampa Taser Tale

Posted by Voltairrible on July 22, 2008

Can't Tase This"

"Duh nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh, nuh nuh: Can't Tase This"

First of all, alliteration rocks.

Second, Tampa Bay Buccaneer Safety Donte Nicholson just got tasered.  Tampa Bay is Mac10’s favorite team for some god-awful and unknown reason, so this is really making my day.  Knowing that his team is filled with people who get tasered and arrested just sickens me.  I’m glad my team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, is full of good, upright Christian men.

Anyway, here’s what happened:  Nicholson was out with his roommate Torrey Robinson at a club, because that’s what NFL players do.  Robinson left the club, tried to get back in (against the rules, apparently), claimed he was a Bucs player, flashed his expensive watch to try to prove it, and then SMASHED THE SECURITY GUARD IN THE FACE WITH SAID WATCH.  Awesome.

So, the police came and wrestled Robinson to the ground.  Then, Nicholson took it upon himself to get involved and bring a smile to my face.

The two deputies had just finished handcuffing Robinson when they realized Nicholson was trying to come to his roommate’s aid but was stopped by security guards, Bordner said. One of the deputies told the security guards to let Nicholson go and then told Nicholson to roll onto his stomach on the ground, Bordner said.

Instead, Nicholson tried to get up, Bordner said. The deputy was tired from having tussled with Robinson, and in front of him was a 6-foot-2-inch man weighing 260 pounds, Bordner said.

When Nicholson refused to stay on the ground, the deputy fired a shot at him with his stun gun, Bordner said.

It didn’t faze Nicholson, Bordner said. As Nicholson began to pull the electric probes from his body, the deputy reactivated his Taser, sending another jolt of electricity into Nicholson’s body. That subdued Nicholson, who then was arrested, Bordner said.

Not only did he get tasered, he got tasered again when he tried to pull the damn probes off.  I’ve got to admit that Nicholson seems like a hardass.  He’s been charged with two misdemeanors, namely resisting arrest without violence (awwww shucks) and battery.

Way to go, Mac10.  Your team is full of thugs that like to undermine the very fabric of the laws that keep our society flourishing.

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One Response to “Terrific Tampa Taser Tale”

  1. Mac10 said

    if you are attempting to insult the bucs by pointing out one of our players cannot be fazed by a taser, it was a foolish exercise

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