Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

SEC Football Preview

Posted by Mac10 on August 7, 2008

I mean God's great and all, but look at those boobs

The fact that he didn't bang her prevents UF from winning the SEC this year.

Considering the SEC is the only conference that matters in college football, this should serve as a college football preview as well.

SEC East

  1. Georgia (7-1) – Knowshown Moreno is the best RB in the country. Couple that with a very good QB in Matt Stafford and the best offensive coach in the SEC in Mark Richt and this is the year Georgia makes it to the BCS Championship Game.

    I'm relatively certain you don't Knowshown.

    I'm relatively certain you don't Knowshown.

  2. Florida (6-2) – Tim Tebow does not bang sluts for religious reasons. That pretty much goes against the whole point of this blog.
  3. Tennessee (5-3) – Phil Fulmer, aka Lloyd Carr Jr., continues to wish for the Tee Martin Era to return.
  4. Vanderbilt (3-5) – Clearly, I am biased because I go here, but this is the year we break our bowl drought. I mean it’s not like we lost our best offensive weapon, defensive player, or whole offensive line.
  5. South Carolina (3-5) – God, I hate Steve Spurrier.
  6. Kentucky (0-8} – No Andre’ Woodson. No QB’s with any unnecessary apostrophes. No wins.

SEC West

  1. Auburn (8-0) – Very favorable schedule for them with all of their tough games coming at home.
  2. LSU (7-1) – They will benefit from a weak SEC West, but they will not be able to win in Auburn.
  3. Ole Miss (3-5) – Houston Nutt’s first year at Ole Miss will be a step up for the program, and he will destroy Arkansas in Fayetteville in his homecoming.
  4. Arkansas (3-5) – As they watch Casey Dick try to learn Bobby Petrino’s offense, Arkansas fans will wonder what was so wrong with Houston Nutt.
  5. Alabama (2-6) – This season will be like Pearl Harbor and 9/11 rolled into one for the terrible historical analogizer Nick Saban. (Is analogizer a word? And is it a dirty one? Anyway, I’m using it.)
  6. Mississippi St. (1-7) – How is that black coach thing working out, MSU?

SEC Championship

Georgia over Auburn – Georgia avenges its only loss of the season en route to winning the BCS Championship Game

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8 Responses to “SEC Football Preview”

  1. DrFunke said

    How was one of your tags “You don’t Knowshown”? Also, your Houston Nutt tag is suffering from grammatical deficiencies.

  2. Wudgles said

    If Tim Tebow wasn’t religious, the amount of sluts he would bang and beers he would drink might give new insight to the term “infinity.”

  3. Mac10 said

    Actually, my Houston Nutt tag is suffering from tag character limits. And I will quickly rectify my lack of You Don’t Knowshown tags

  4. DrFunke said

    That’s all I ask. I think legally, we’re required to say “You Don’t Knowshown” 100 times per Georgia Sportscenter highlight this year.

  5. Mac10 said

    At least. Also, I linked to your imdb post on the bangkok dangerous thread

  6. DrFunke said

    Well played sir. We should troll and shamelessly plug our shit more.

  7. Mac10 said

    some guy on cracked did that in the comments section of Bucholz’s latest post. This was the response:
    Hyde: You should add “You type everything in your blog in all caps” to your douchebag list. I’m sorry, but people like you should be banned from even owning a computer in the first place. I’m not suggesting that everything we type on the internet should be free from typos and slang, but for Christ’s sake, glancing at your blog made me want to hijack a plane, fly it to California, land it in your backyard, politely ring your doorbell, then jack you in the face with a stepladder when you opened up. If the Earth were to be struck by a comet, I would want it to land on you. I seriously hate you. You make children cry, and not in the good way, like I do, but in the bad, bad way; the way “Old Yeller” makes children cry. Someday I will literally kill you (metaphorically speaking). Have fun “keeping it real”, you moron.

    No disrespect.

  8. DrFunke said

    Was the guy who wrote that response Wudgles? His cousin or brother or something?

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