Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Bands that Dismiss Everyone with Dismissive Wank Motions

Posted by DrFunke on May 15, 2009

Electric Six is everything that Sans Morality stands for. Normally my posts are lengthy and I try to do the talking by myself. This is not one of those times.

I cannot even begin to explain to you how amazing this band is. Seeing as I’m apparently writing a blog post about them, I guess I will start with this song. Correct me if I’m wrong, but no song has a better first line than this: “I rode a sex wave, and washed up on your shore.” Find a single song that starts off with a better line than that. I dare you. Oh wait you can’t, that’s science. If this song happens to be about girls with STDs being better in bed, then all the better.

Listen, I don’t make the rules. But when your lead singer is named Dick Valentine, your guitarist is named Na$hinal, your bassist is named Smorgasbord! and pretends to be Swedish, and your drummer is named Percussion World, you are doing it right.

If you have recorded an album titled, “I Shall Exterminate Everything Around Me That Restricts Me From Being the Master,” you may be the single greatest band of all time. If you have a song called “Slices of You,” and there’s a speaking interlude in the middle where your lead singer is required to say “Everywhere I go people ask me, ‘Valentine, what’s your recipe for love?’ And my answer’s always the same. Cook the hell out of it, and slice it,” odds are I’ll jizz in my pants upon hearing your songs.

Before you ever judge a band, check their library to see if they have a song called “Vibrator.” If yes, and they describe a vibrator as a “tuna investigator,” then maybe put them in the same league as Electric Six.

I wish I could find more of them on Youtube, but I encourage all of you soulless pricks to go to Pandora or Itunes to find more of this band. They are literally a disco/rock/punk/funk band that cares less about their image than The Darkness. For the love of god, please take a look at these beautiful, beautiful retards. Also, sorry I keep talking about music.

Fun fact: the title of their upcoming album is “The Sign of the Beefcarver.” God is good.

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One Response to “Bands that Dismiss Everyone with Dismissive Wank Motions”

  1. Wudgles said

    “Tuna Investigator” was my 2nd pick after Wudgles.

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