Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Weekend Box Office Recap

Posted by Mac10 on May 19, 2009

Sorry to those loyal readers out there who tune in every Monday expecting a Weekend Box Office Recap and were devastated to be denied one yesterday. In fact, I haven’t posted anything since last Monday’s Recap. Don’t worry, readers, this delay was not caused by any productive reason such as a job or having friends, but rather from watching The Wire 24/7. Seriously, I’m on Season 4 and I’ve been watching it for a week. Anyways, on to the recap.

1. Angels and Demons – I’m actually going to see this tonight. I always thought this book was much better than The Da Vinci Code, and its plot translates much better for a movie. My only complaint is that they kept Tom Hanks instead of replacing him with Sir Nicolas Cage, Esquire. Any time you combine Sir Cage and secret cults (aka The Wicker Man), gloriousness ensues:

2. Star Trek – I really should start seeing these movies before I do the recaps. It would probably help. Anyway, I’ve heard mostly positive things about this movie from people whose movie opinions I respect. But I don’t know if I can see a movie starring Chris Pine without thinking he should be starring in a Brazzers video.

3. X-Men Origins: Wolverine – This movie actually has some good talent in terms of writing and directing. One wrote Swordfish (I especially liked the eloquent writing involved when Halle Berry was topless) and the other wrote 25th Hour and adapted The Kite Runner. The director wrote and directed Tsotsi, which is a badass foreign film that everyone should see. Even with these credentials plus my love for all things Australia plus my man crush on Taylor Kitsch, I still haven’t seen this movie. Once again, being poor trumps being interested.

4. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past – How is this still in the top 5? Didn’t all the whipped guys who have been forced to see this already see this opening weekend? There can’t be that many people who need to see Matthew Mc (I’m tired of looking up how to spell his last name) without his shirt on. Look it up online, you lonely whores.

5. Obsessed – Now that I’ve been watching The Wire, I feel like I can say WHAT THE FUCK IS STRINGER BELL DOING IN THIS PIECE OF SHIT? The man is Stringer Bell for fuck’s sake. He should only be offered roles in movies that are as badass as him. Whether a movie can be as badass as Stringer, I’ll leave that question to the philosophers.


One Response to “Weekend Box Office Recap”

  1. DrFunke said

    Here’s some philosophizing for you on #5: no. Nothing is as badass as Stringer Bell, unless there was a movie that just followed around a wasted McNulty for 2 hours.

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