Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Dr Funke: Me as Lane Kiffin: Bobby Johnson

Posted by Mac10 on June 7, 2009

That’s right, it’s an SEC football coach analogy. You see, readers, Dr. Funke, much like Lane Kiffin, is good at what he does. Lane Kiffin is an excellent recruiter and a great offensive coach. Dr. Funke writes funny blog posts and links to entertaining, time-wasting websites. Yet, neither of these skilled professionals can help the fact that they are douchebags who have to call out their peers for no apparent reason. I chalk it up to inadequacy issues. Lane knows that he will never be as good a coach as his father, great Bucs defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Dr. Funke knows that no matter what he does in life, he will always be shorter than the average male.

On the other hand, you have Bobby Johnson and me. Johnson isn’t as flashy or nearly as talented as Kiffin. I am not as funny or talented a writer as Dr. Funke. We both try to accomplish our goals with a strong defense (Weekend Box Office Recaps), a methodical offense (making copious amounts of lists), and a few lucky plays (online porn reality shows). We try to go about our business in a professional manner without insulting anyone else to make us seem better. In the end, we both know that this type of behavior will win out over the headline-seeking antics of Kiffin and Dr. Funke.

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