Sans Morality

drinkin’ beers, bangin’ sluts

Posts Tagged ‘Music’

Dr. Funke’s Songs of the Week

Posted by DrFunke on July 26, 2009

Game on assholes.

1. The Fratellis – Flathead – I would’ve looked a lot more indy-cool if I had posted this about 3 years ago.

2. The Old 97’s – Question – Simply a great song if you’re in a sappy mood and enjoy wearing scarves and being emo.

3. Drive By Truckers – Women Without Whiskey – This song’s about boning and drinking, so we’re for it. Also, Drive By Truckers are secretly an awesome Southern Rock band and I feel cool telling you about them.

4a. Bruce Springsteen – Incident on 57th Street – Bruce is a God among men. This is reason 1090978079080 why. There’s never enough Bruce.

4b. Bruce Springsteen – My City of Ruin – This uplifting ditty was a song Bruce wrote about September 11th. The moral of the story is that Bruce Springsteen is amazing. Thank you for your time.

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Dr. Funke’s Songs of the Week

Posted by DrFunke on July 16, 2009

What’s up, bitches? It’s time for me to confuse you with my musical choices. Let us begin.

1A. Pearl Jam – “Crazy Mary (Live)” – Pearl Jam is awesome. They have a lot of songs that have no shot of getting radio play but are still amazing, and this is one of them. It’s one of their concert showstoppers, mostly because the song builds itself up, and it finishes by rocking way harder than you could ever expect it to. The reason this is 1A is because:

1B. Pearl Jam – “Blood” – If you haven’t heard Eddie Vedder scream before, I recommend it. Also, this song proves my working theory that if it’s used right, the “wah-wah” guitar pedal makes every song sound about 10 times cooler.

2. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band – “Backstreets” – I don’t know why I’m really into unexpected screaming from bad ass lead singers this week, but I am so deal with it. This was one of the better songs I’ve ever seen played live. The other best songs I’ve ever seen live were also all Bruce songs, because he’s Jesus you see.

3. 2Pac ft. Elton John (you’re reading that right) – “Ghetto Gospel” – 2Pac is my favorite rapper, ahead of like the only other 3 rappers I think are talented. Also, the comedy of imagining Pac and Elton John interacting is a plus. How is it that Elton has done famous duets with 2 of the most controversial rappers ever? First 2Pac, then his live appearance with Eminem. Elton, you are one of hip-hop’s finest. I think it’s time you bless us with a “Crocodile Rock” remix, featuring T.I. and Dirt Nasty.

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Dr. Funke’s Songs of the Week

Posted by DrFunke on July 7, 2009

This will be a weekly post from me, the good doctor. Maybe good isn’t the best word but you follow me. Anyway, I’m spending a lot of time in New York City this summer (*smells own farts*), which means I spend a lot of quality time on the Subway with people who look like circus freaks and smell like their own urine, or people who seem to be a walking anti-tattoo PSA, or, fittingly, some women who make me go from 6 to midnight in a heartbeat. There’s no way I’m going to talk to any of these assholes or lovely ladies, and that means I’m getting a lot of mileage out of my iPod. In these posts, I’ll put up a few songs that I’ve been listening to lately. This will be entertaining for a few reasons: my fellow bloggers will just berate the fuck out of me in the comments section. My music choices will confuse the hell out of you because I have music taste that’s oddly varied but simultaneously extremely specific and generally makes about as much sense as this sentence. If I can promise one thing, it’s that few of my choices will be current or relevant, but then again I think they’re awesome so blow me. Hopefully I’m better at this than I was with my “Links of the week” deal, because that one lasted about 2 weeks. Without further ado:

1. “Little Secrets” by Passion Pit: This song is really poppy and really electronic and hooky, and I always hate stuff like this. Then again, I loved those 3 MGMT songs, and this song is the same sort of style.

2. “Gold Lion” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Watch the video. Jesus it is weird. On the bright side: slow motion, fire, guitars getting smashed, and a solid rock song with nonsensical lyrics.

3. “Massive Nights” by The Hold Steady: I love this band. Their singer basically just talks and sounds a little drunk (which makes sense because they have a bunch of songs about getting wasted), and the band is heavier than you’d expect. *Note: the video isn’t great quality, presumably because it was filmed in Wisconsin and there were too many fat people. Doesn’t make sense? Ask me if I give a shit, fatty.

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This Video is Really F’n Cool

Posted by DrFunke on June 27, 2009

Fleetwood Mac is one of those bands with a background story almost as famous as its music. They released the album “Rumours” in the 70’s, and for a while it was the highest selling album in music history. Part of what made the album so compelling was the intertwining relationships between band members, most notably singer Stevie Nicks and guitarist/vocalist Lindsey Buckingham. Confusingly enough, Stevie is a chick and Lindsey is a dude.

ANYWAY, Nicks and Buckingham were in the middle of a long-term relationship that was deteriorating, while other band members John and Christine McVie were on their way to getting a divorce, and drummer Mick Fleetwood was getting ready to nail whichever female got single first. While all of this was going on, the band wrote “Rumours” and basically all the songs were about breaking up. This gave the album an extra level of fame and, in my opinion, made all the songs about 10 times more interesting than they would’ve been normally. Take the song “Go Your Own Way” for example. It’s a great song, and people would’ve loved it regardless of context. But listen to the lyrics, and imagine singing it while the girl you’re breaking up with sings the harmony along with you. Heavy stuff.

One song that was written for “Rumours” but wasn’t included was “Silver Springs.” It’s another song about breaking up, and like many other Fleetwood Mac songs, it’s more effective when you know what was happening between Nicks and Buckingham. Knowing about them is what makes this live performance of “Silver Springs” so goddamn mesmerizing after the 4:00 mark. Take a look:

That stare down is absolutely incredible. In the words of Mac 10, “I couldn’t tell if they were more likely to fuck or fight each other right there on stage.” It’s an awesomely emotional performance of a great song, and the video is honestly an amazing thing to watch. Enjoy.

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People Who Must Be Stopped: Adam Lambert

Posted by DrFunke on May 7, 2009

Friends, brothers, fellow angry bored people. I come to you today the humblest of humble pissed off bloggers, seeking to recruit you for a cause. This cause? (Warning on the upcoming link, I searched for a picture of the dude and this was the first link that came up and it’s pretty gay. Clearly I was not pleased because queers are for fags and they can go fuck themselves somewhere on some secret island and stay there because this is America, but it did further prove my point. Sigh, the pressures of being a high-culture writer. Also, if you’re gay, maybe the link is your thing.*) (*It’s two dudes making out.) To stop the faggot of all faggots, American Idol contestant Adam Lambert, from ever achieving any form of success. Why you ask?

Any further questions?

Any further questions?

Let’s start here: he’s famous for being on American Idol. I can’t really begin to explain to you why I hate this show, because it’s hard to start an explanation of something by listing every detail about it. “BUT DR FUNKE THEY ARE BIG STARS AND THEY’RE SO TALENTED LISTEN TO THEM SING MELIKES DICKS LOL.” Well suck one of said dicks reader, and in the meanwhile let the good Doctor drop a little knowledge on you. If you memorize a piece of writing from another author then publish it in a public forum that doesn’t make you talented, it makes you a plagiarist. Even if you change a couple parts but keep all the same main ideas and plot points and themes and characters, you’re still a plagiarist even if you think you slightly improved it. The only way it becomes your own work is if you happen to borrow some themes or plot elements, but make drastic changes otherwise in order to make the work original enough to be considered your idea. That’s where most of our ideas come from anyway. (Think “Simpsons Did It” from South Park.)

That said, American Idol is a fucking karaoke contest. If you’re a fan, your natural reaction will be to protest that statement. But take a deep breath and think. That’s all American Idol is. People take songs written and performed by other people, then sing them on stage in front of other people, then other people come on stage after them to perform different songs written and performed by different people. A few people sit at a table in front of them and judge them. During the Spring, Wudgles and I were those judges. We went to many a karaoke bar, got inappropriately drunk, and judged people for being horrible at singing in a vein similar to that of Simon Cowell. Differences: the Idol judges make millions of fucking dollars giving opinions on said karaoke competition, and you’re out of your goddamn mind if you think Wudgles and I couldn’t get shitfaced and do that about twice a week. Also, even the best singers at a dive-ass karaoke bar don’t get any more recognition than some applause and a high-five or two. Ever wonder why? Because that’s the most they deserve. Then again, this is our ass-backwards society where Heidi and Spencer Pratt probably have just about as much name recognition as President Obama. Of course, this means the winner of America’s favorite unoriginality contest gets a multi-million dollar record deal and endless fame.

I knew how this was since the show started airing, and frankly I didn’t feel like bothering. But I reached the breaking point when people began saying that this performance was better than the original version:

Really? This emo-haired leather covered douche is more talented than arguably one of the 3 best rock bands ever? Zeppelin is one of the few bands or artists that managed to have a long successful career while still staying creative and relevant throughout the entirety of their existence (Only people who did it better were Miles Davis and Springsteen, unless I’m forgetting someone). Maybe the Beatles couple years together were the best all-around, and you can argue the Rolling Stones best stuff is better than Zeppelin’s best. I’d disagree, but I’d listen to the argument. Those bands came up with their own stuff, from sound to lyrics to image to mystique and legend. Those bands are the definition of talent. Talent’s importance can be studied pretty easily in country. Mac 10 and I disagree on country music. It’s Mac’s favorite, and I’m not a fan. I can see some of the appeal; the singers have good voices and everything, and lyrically it’s by far the best genre. But so few of them write their own songs that it’s not at all rewarding to hear. It’s like putting that book A Million Little Pieces into music form. If neither the book or the author was authentic, how come there isn’t the same outcry about musicians who don’t write their own stuff and therefore aren’t singing something truthful and personal? Anyone want to explain this to me?

This asshole put on some leather and got a shitty haircut, and for whatever reason he’s now more talented than the dudes from Zeppelin? Sorry, but screw that noise. Just because he can shriek and sing high enough to make me question whether or not he possesses testicles doesn’t make him a good singer, in rock or any genre. If a guitarist were to just shred ridiculously all the time then, okay, we get it, you can shred, but it doesn’t mean it sounds good. It might resemble the above video, where Lambert’s voice is annoying as shit and he sounds like that noise Dane Cook makes when he talks about braking in a parking garage. (Am I making Dane Cook and American Idol references in one post? I just died on the inside.) What makes bands great is how they learn how to play with each other and eventually within each other to create a signature sound where the sum is greater than the parts. Pete Townshend would’ve smashed this Twilight-reading tool over the head with a guitar. The fact that the Zep comparison was ever even thought of, much less mentioned, is completely absurd.

Why is it that people in our society refuse to think for themselves? These ball-gargling retards from American Idol are going to be famous millionaires for singing karaoke? Really? Next thing you know, people are going to find a way to make ridiculous amounts of money for reading words off paper. Oh, too late, we have actors make $20 million dollars for putting on costumes, pretending they’re someone else, and saying what a script tells them to say. Am I crazy for thinking that the screenwriter, who creates all the characters and dialogue and plot and themes deserves the most credit? Followed by the director for maybe creating something extra with certain shots and contributing to the world the characters live in? Then the actors, for reading and being told what costumes to wear? Maybe I am, and maybe that’s why I’ll never like American Idol or buy into an Idol winner as a legitimate artist. In retrospect, my favorite part about this whole post is that when you think about it, blatant plagiarism really only matters in books. It never does in movies, and creativity doesn’t matter for shit in movies as anyone whose ever seen an action movie can attest to. Does anyone else get as much enjoyment as me out of the fact that the only people who care about plagiarism are people who we know for sure can read? Sorry, this post was an actual semi-logical and angry rant. Also far too long. But sometimes people just confuse me. For the love of God, I hope Adam Lambert doesn’t get famous for performing a shitty version of one of the best rock songs ever.

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